Creating Value

current state of mind: fickle

All of these people want us to fail

I won't let that happen no

Just you believe me

I'll hide you discreetly

Discreetly from this cold world

~ “Me and You” by Jake Bugg

I am a genius. My Stanford-Binet test results were last evaluated at 147 points. The actual classification is “very gifted or highly advanced”; apparently, the word “genius” is passé. I freely acknowledge that a score of 147 is only three points from the next lower classification of “gifted or very advanced”. Still, you only need a 132 to qualify for Mensa®. To be clear, I am not a member of Mensa®; nor have I applied for membership. I much prefer knowing I am most likely the smartest person in the room. Joining Mensa® greatly reduces the odds of that belief being true. Moving on.

I dedicated years of my life imagining the great contemporary novel I wanted to write. Eventually, I even started writing it. The plot was riddled with action, drama, and suspense. The first and last chapters were symbolic of life’s duality; illustrating how hope can persevere in the aftermath of ultimate depravity. Derailing my dream of completing the novel was my inability to write anything worth reading between the first and last chapters. My ability to weave the story matched my ability to weave a straw hat. I blamed my muse; or lack thereof, for the convoluted story line and weak character development. I blamed myself for not living up to my potential. After years of frustration, I abandoned the novel to the obscure existence only a 1 terabyte hard drive can provide.

Where do I go from here?

I wish I knew the answer. I wish I had the path all mapped out by a trusty GPS. I don’t. I am reminded of the scene in “Alice in Wonderland” where Alice finds herself face-to-face with the Cheshire Cat: 

“Cat: Where are you going?
Alice: Which way should I go?
Cat: That depends on where you are going.
Alice: I don’t know.
Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I see multiple paths from which I can traverse; but, I have become so risk averse that I would rather sit here with a talking cat than choose. Life isn’t like a “choose your own adventure” book. There are no guarantees that one can start over after making a poor choice. In fact, most of life’s lessons have clearly demonstrated that “not being able to start over” is the only guarantee.

PERSONAL NOTE: I miss you more today than I did yesterday.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Thank you for the lucky jersey – even if you didn’t intend for it to be so lucky.   

A Blank Canvas

current state of mind: amused

And the days go by; bleeding in my mind

And all I think about is remembering how I tried

And the hours pass and everything I can’t slow down

And all I want to say; it never comes out right

~ “Somewhere in Between” by Graham Colton

I want to send a loud shout out to my boyfriend, Peyton Manning. Not only did he win on Sunday – but he made it public that I was his inspiration and motivation. For those who missed the game, you can hear in the highlights how many times he said “Omaha” before play action. There should be no question in anyone’s mind whom he was referencing.

The season premiere of “Archer” was this yesterday. It was “figuratively killing me” from beginning to end. If you didn’t see it, here is your one and only warning: #SpoilerAlert

I laughed aloud at the following lines/scenes. 

• When poor Brett took a bullet to the head, and Archer said, “Well, at least he died doing what he loved. . . getting shot.” 

• I loved how the FBI leader explained that his tactical team was supposed to announce themselves as FBI “after the flashbangs but before other Fat Mike gets shot.”

• The scene in FBI interrogation where the FBI guy said to Archer, “If I were you. . .”and Archer interrupted with “You’d get laid more.” Ha ha – that’s good stuff.

The rest of this season looks like it will be amazing. The ISIS crew will be running a cartel. . . I mean, how hard can it be?

Thank you, FX, for “Archer: Vice”. We’ll add it to your “whatever. . . crime tab.”

Blue is a Nice Color

current state of mind: inspired

In my mind are pictures of the past
Telling me a story meant to last
Still holding onto
Days out on the beach out in the sun
Nights when I was still your only one
~ “Into the Night of Blue” by Ace of Base

My muse with the Irish lilt rang me and demanded to know why I haven’t been writing. It is a fair question and I have a good answer. When I attempted to tell him, he stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Lass, don’t tell me with your Midwestern accent. Write it with your Irish heart.” In full disclosure, the conversation didn’t precisely go as I described it. Still, the real conversation was quite lengthy and rather convoluted. My version is better in a time crunch.

I haven’t been writing here because I have been writing elsewhere. I have been brainstorming titles, characters, plot lines, etc.. This is no small feat; not even for someone who loves writing as much as I do. I have been so wrapped up in the trees that I have lost the forest. I have a black notebook filled with photographs and ideas – but nothing is connected. It seems that every time I have an epiphany, I am driving. It’s not as if I can pull over and start writing. I have tried to remember these bursts of creativity; but, by the time I get home, all I can remember are some of the lyrics to a recent One Direction song. This wouldn’t be as disappointing if I would recognize the song the next time I heard it – but, as with all One Direction songs, each time is like the first time and I get focused on remembering the song so I recognize it the next time.  If you don’t know about my “issue” with One Direction songs, please read this little gem from December 2012. http://www.geniusinwonderland.com/2012/12/sparkling-little-gems-just-pour-out-of.html

Thus far, in 2014, I have been tweeting every day with @historyinaflash. This is a positive start to focusing on writing with consistency. 2014 is going to be a monumental year. The twins turn 16. ‘Little Dragonfly’ will remind us all why the ‘terrible twos’ can be so much fun.  “Gretzky” and “the Dancer” got married and are expecting their first baby in May. ‘Ali-Son’ is also hoping to add a new member to her family. It’ll be like becoming a new Auntie twice in the same month. I intend on reducing the clutter in my life . . . Yes, I realize I say this every year – but, this is the year. The thought of starting 2015 with so much stuff makes me cringe in horror.

So, there you have it. Now you know why I haven’t been entertaining you with my musings and brain dumps. I give you my word that as long as I have access to the interwebs, I will provide a minimum of 52 posts in 2014. I will even do what I can to make sure that they are spaced out in a relatively even manner.

Girl Genius Out!