Christian Louboutin and Lucius Verus

current state of mind: charmed

Oh, short on money, but long on time

Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine

And I'm running late and I don't need an excuse

'Cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes

~ “New Shoes” by Paolo Nutini

I enjoy shoe shopping as much as the next girl; but when I find a shoe I like, I only need to buy two. I am also a bargain shopper. Yes, I will go so far as to shop in thrift stores and garage sales for cute, gently-worn shoes. As long as the insides can be disinfected, I am happy to pay a lower price. Unfortunately, used shoe buying is something that I only get to enjoy when I am shopping for my own shoes.

Shoe shopping for Lucius is an entirely different experience. Firstly, he requires two pairs; two in front and two in back. Secondly, there is no compromising on “gently used”. Only brand new will do for the emperor in my life.  Lastly, the shoes have to be comfortable, handle well in poor weather, and have a high speed rating since I tend to have a lead foot. I have been putting this ordeal off for some time. The recent snow storms have given me a gentle lesson in physics. Some of you know that I have been dreading the purchase of new tires for months. I really had hoped to make it through “one more winter”.    

A couple weeks ago I began the quest for finding the best tires at the best price. I have now visited more tire stores than department stores in 2013. I even price-shopped online; hoping to drive the local stores into price matching. It worked, kind of. That is, I did negotiate deals; but the sticker shock nearly sent me into defib, so I told all of the sales managers, etc that I needed time to “think about it”. I went so far as to convince myself that maybe I could just get one pair, have them installed in front and move the two best of the bad tires to the back. Lucius is front-wheel drive. It shouldnt matter that the rear tires are rather worn. They still have some tread depth to them.

Knowing that I am driving to Tejas this weekend, I began to have doubts about my money-saving plan. Realizing that I will be driving GirlTwin back here the following weekend, then home again the weekend after that inflated those doubts considerably. Yesterday’s adventure in the car wash when my wheels noticeably slipped on the very wet floor was the kicker. I made the appointment to get 4 brand new, all season, touring tires installed. Do not misunderstand . . . the price still causes me to gasp and mildly hyperventilate. I am not looking forward to the bill; but I am looking forward to knowing that GirlTwin will be riding 1500+ miles during early March in a vehicle that has 4 quality tires designed to handle the road in all types of weather.

Perhaps I can take a red Sharpie to them and create the first Louboutin-inspired, high fashion tires . . . or not.

PERSONAL NOTE: Maybe in the next lifetime, Mercury won’t have quite this effect.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You were right. I was wrong.   

Holy Moly Oscar Night

current state of mind: winning!

Where worlds collide and days are dark

You may have my number

You can take my name

But you'll never have my heart

~ “Skyfall” by Adele

I attended my friend’s annual Academy Award-watching party on Sunday night. I did not dress up in a costume because there was no way I was going to win the costume contest. Every year, many of the attendees go “all out” with costumes that could have originated from the actual films. I am not that motivated or creative when it comes to costume design. My competitive spirit, however, does come out when it comes to the award predictions. The guest who correctly predicts the most award winners gets a gift card to a local movie theater. Every year, I miss the boat . . . until NOW!

Yours truly was remarkably successful on Sunday night with regards to predictions. In fact, I had already won before the final 3 awards were announced. SCORE! I was very excited and even gave a speech . . . . well, I tried to give a speech; but they started playing the orchestra music before I could even get my first “Thank you” out. Below are the categories I predicted with the accuracy of Nostradamus:

• Best Picture
• Directing
• Leading Actor
• Film Editing
• Sound Editing
• Leading Actress
• Supporting Actress
• Foreign Language Film
• Sound Mixing
• Animated Feature
• Visual Effects
• Adapted Screenplay
• Costume Design
• Original Song
• Original Screenplay

Personally, I think I did pretty darn well for someone who only saw “Argo”, “Brave”, “Skyfall”, “Les Mis”, and “Django Unchained”. Oh wait, I also saw “Ted”; clearly a classic. Of course, the show would not have been possible without the charm and wit of Seth MacFarlane. For starters, he is so handsome. That smile, holy moly; so endearing it makes me melt. He can sing, he can dance, he can mock, and he can make a girl remember why she loved Peter Brady.

Anyway, it is fun to be a winner on Oscar Night! I am in good company. None of this would have been possible without Ben Affleck, Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Laurence, Anne Hathaway, Ang Lee, and Quentin Tarantino. Oh, and of course, Adele.

Oh and before I forget . . . a huge shout out to Ronda Rousey who proved to the world on Saturday that it is possible to be beautiful, feminine, and charming while kicking some serious a$$. But, please, Dana White, let the girl wear a real sports bra. Your choice almost cost her the belt.

PERSONAL NOTE: Let’s go to the movies. . .let’s go see the stars.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Cannot wait to see you next week!!!!   

You’re Breaking Some New Ground There, Copernicus!

current state of mind: introspective

I'm not making a joke

You know me I take everything so seriously

If we wait for the time till all souls get it right

Then at least I know there'll be no nuclear annihilation in my life time

I'm still not right

~ “Galileo” by The Indigo Girls

Copernicus’s birthday was the other day. He is the reason that we know the Universe doesn't revolve around us. Instead, we revolve around the Sun which revolves around the center of the Milky Way which revolves around something else and so on. If you need an illustration, go to any elementary school science fair. Someone is bound to have a Styrofoam rendition of our solar system. I made mine in third grade. I did it myself. My parents cut the wire hangers for me; but that was the extent of their “help”. I wanted to be an astronomer. For my 8^th birthday, MiMadre bought me “Our Universe”; a pictorial book from National Geographic. It is still on my Top Ten Gifts ever received list.

What I have learned over the years is that we have very little control over our paths through the Universe. Gravitational pull is far stronger than human beings. Often it is intense emotional experiences which allow us to alter our paths. While we can fight against the inevitable for a short while, eventually, the explosion burns itself out and we are pulled back into our designated orbits.

I have been thinking about this theory with gusto. With the 7000 ton meteor fireball rocketing across the Russian sky and a potential upcoming asteroid collision, I cannot help but wonder why these things are careening out of their natural orbits and into our path. Is that how life is? I mean, the whole “Man makes plans, the Universe laughs” scenario seems to be pretty damn insightful. I am a planner. When a plan goes as intended, I am able to behave with logic and pragmatism. When a plan goes awry, holy moly, I feel as if the Universe has slapped me on the back of the head (think Gibbs and Tony in NCIS).

There doesn't seem to be a viable solution. I have contingency plans for my contingency plans. Yet, there are still blizzards, impromptu meetings, lost keys, demagnetized ‘magnetic’ strips, obligations (both good and bad), and pie crust promises. For the most part, I have followed a lifestyle which promotes “no implicit expectations”. I have found that my temperament is far more agreeable than before. Still, I have my moments.

I hope you understand.

PERSONAL NOTE: All 4 seasons have been covered. Let’s do book covers next.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You’ll soon be given a choice.  

Scream and Shout

current state of mind: awake

 'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something fun to do

Hey, baby, I think I’m gonna tickle you

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Who cares baby, I think I’m gonna tickle you

~ “Tickle You” by K-Shrub (parody of ‘Marry You’ by Bruno Mars)

This Saturday night, I’m hosting a rave. . . . a baby rave. Ain't no party like a Baby B party 'Cause the Baby B party don't stop, yo! The guest list is exclusive and there are guaranteed celebrity sightings.

K-Shrub is going to her first “returning to a social life” event on Saturday night and I was chosen to keep Baby B all night. Now, in reality, K-Shrub will be returning to the house after Baby B and I are in bed, so we won’t actually be partying ALL NIGHT -- BUT, it is still an amazing opportunity to spend time with my dragonfly. Plus, I can say with full confidence that one of us will be “spitting up” by 4am.  We know how to party!

I am actually supposed to be writing something else right now. I owe a 3000 word article to a friend for her zine. It was due this past weekend. Clearly, I am behind. I have the idea and have begun writing the article. Unfortunately, my muse is on a coffee break, had a family emergency,  or went out to get cigarettes. . . something like that.

Oh well. It’ll happen. It always does.

PERSONAL NOTE: I miss your face.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Never mind.