current state of mind: ‘hella’ positive
What's your twenty? (Do you copy?)
Where's your brain? (Do you copy?)
Checking in to check you out
Concerned about your whereabouts
~ “Settle Down” by No Doubt
I carry 2
key rings with me everywhere. On those two key rings hang 5 flash drives, some
keys, and some flair fobs. They are ridiculously heavy and bulky. I do not know
why I have so many flash drives. I have a Dropbox account. It is full. I have a
Google Drive account. It is also full. Somewhere in my storage shed is a
portable hard drive. It may or may not be full. I don’t remember. Why do I have so much data that needs to be
stored? Will I even look at that stuff again?
This week, I
was called the “C”-word on one of the online dating sites. I did nothing (well,
not really).
Here is the
conversation . . .
His message and first contact: Wow...no wonder why you are 35 and single.
My response: What does that even mean? LOL
His second message: Wow...sad
My response: You don't know what it means either?
His third and final message (including typos, because they are funny): How do you not? Your not bright, huh? I meant you long list of demands...I hate women like you. F—k off, c---.
He did formally spell
out the expletives; but I have not because I don’t want the e-mail
subscriptions getting flagged. I find it difficult to take insults directed at
my intelligence seriously when someone doesn’t know the difference between “you’re”
and “your”. HOWEVER, I like to provide a fair and balanced viewpoint, so I feel
that I should share my “long list of demands” from my profile. Here they are verbatim:
“My ideal match would be an in-shape ginger with ink who plays soccer, can fly a plane/helicopter, saves babies for a living, is in a band, and has an accent. Royal titles, Olympic gold medals, or a private island are a plus. I am willing to compromise for someone who can make me think or laugh; preferably both.”
I did not
respond to his final message. He has his Masters in Engineering and I was
afraid that pointing out his complete lack of logical analysis would make his
brain explode. I refuse to be responsible for such atrocities. One of my
brothers is an engineer. He recognized the guy from the UNL Engineering program
when I showed his picture. My engineering brother definitely has non-engineering
social skills. In fact, he is also on the same site I am. He lives in the DC
area. Women should be flocking to him in droves. Plus, I don’t think he has
ever called anyone a “C”. Just sayin’!
In less than
a week, I am heading to the Grand Canyon state to visit one of my BFFs (Ms.
Arizona). While I am there, she and her friends are throwing a Girls Night Out
for my birthday. This is a recent text she sent me after I had mentioned I am
turning 36 this month. “36? I still know you as the happily married, perfect
family, girl scout troop-leading 30 year old!”
Clearly, her
comment was a little tongue in cheek. But, I do remember one hilarious evening
back in Texas during my Summer of Self-Destruction, when “Ms. Arizona” and I
consumed a LOT of wine, then rang up anyone we knew would still be awake ‘just
to chat’. That is the night I learned about ‘ringback tones’ courtesy of
Verizon. It is also the night she poked herself in the eye and all I could do
to assist her was lie on the cold bathroom tile and comment on how bloody hot
Texas was at night. The next day, she was severely hung over and one of her
friends called and asked with what kind of bad influences she was associating.
Her response? “I was with D’s Girl Scout leader. You’d think she would be the
best influence I could find.” HaHaHaHa
I suppose
the same could be said about being the Opera Guild President – even if I have
more ink than the rest of the Guild combined. :) Life is good!
PERSONAL NOTE: Hope the lake is a ton
of fun this week!
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Congratulations on
your recent nuptials.
