current state of mind: quixotic
You say that you know
Where to find the flaws in my armor
You whisper, ‘don’t act surprised
I’ll never tell’
~ “Running of the Bulls” by Red Wanting Blue
Blah. Many moons ago, I read Don Quixote. I read it in Spanish (and in English). I vaguely remember the details (in Spanish)
and they are not helpful because I remember very little of the Spanish that
used to be in my brain. It is likely
still up there – but I cannot locate it without the help of a hypnotist. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I learned to never
wage battle against windmills in order to win the heart of a whore. Wait . . . that cannot be what that book was
about. I know that there was more to
it. Dulcinea (a farmgirl, not a whore) and
Sancho Panza (some little fat guy who was nice to the old man) and a really
skinny horse and the niece who burned
the books and . . . okay, it is slowly coming back to me. Not quick enough to hold my interest,
however. So, let’s just say that you can
read it if you want and learn that it is ridiculous and irresponsible to be a
dreamer about things that are not as you want to see them. That Cervantes guy was pretty darn smart.
Before y’all
begin thinking that this post is about being disillusioned – it isn’t. I just enjoy the word “quixotic” and wanted
to use it as my state of mind above.
Using the word made me think of the origin and then I remembered reading
that novel. One firing synapse after
another brought us to this point. What
amuses me, however, is just how far this stream of consciousness could go if I
allowed it. For example, while I was
learning the vocabulary necessary to interpret Don Quixote, a girlfriend used
that list to send a postcard to a guy she met in Spain. I must say that talking about las espuelas to
some guy across the pond may not have been the wisest move – but, he had no
complaints, I am sure.
From there
we can move to foreign love affairs and being 19 and wondering how it all went by
so fast. How did I go from someone who
truly was quixotic to someone who looks at the world through the eyes of a
logical, analytical, realist? I would
never want to go back to being that girl . . . but I am curious how she
disappeared so efficiently. Maybe she
used LEAN. Hahahahahahaha! That really did crack me up.
Anyway, I
should probably stop drinking and writing now. (I am not actually drinking)
PERSONAL
NOTE: Sorry I was cranky with you. There was no reason for me to throw that in
your face.
CONFIDENTIAL
NOTE: I’ll think about August and see
what I can manage. I appreciate the
invite. SWU!
