current state of mind: misillusioned (it’s
like disillusioned; but not really)
So take me downtown on the company dime
Punch me in the arm, make sure I’m alive
I need a weekend, gotta kick out the dust
Get my motor running cause it’s started to
rust
~ ‘Downtown’ by Eve 6
I have a lot
of flaws. Seriously, I do.
Don’t misunderstand; this is
not a cry for help or a request for compliments. I believe we are all pretty much “half jerk
and half jewel”; so I am aware of my good traits. For the moment, however, we are going to look
at two of my least favourite faults.
This will be a productive exercise for my benefit only. You will likely get nothing out of this
experience. My suggestion is that you
stop reading now and pick things back up about two paragraphs down. You can thank me later.
K-shrub
often calls me out on the fact that I am a picker. I pick at my cuticles, finger nails, toe nails,
and any polish on the aforementioned nails.
I used to wear acrylics, which eliminated the picking and biting for the
most part; except after one perfectly manicured acrylic nail would chip. Moments after one had a flaw, I would find
myself surrounded by pieces of shattered acrylic and my fingers would hurt from
the damage I sub-consciously inflicted. Lately,
I have been working very diligently toward NOT biting or picking. I was doing well until school started
again. Now, I fear that I will have to
resort back to “Hoof Hands: Stop The Bite Kick The Habit”. It is the most vile chemical man has created;
however, it is extremely effective. Last
time it took two sub-conscious nail biting attempts to stop me from biting my
nails for over a month. Good gourd!
Another flaw
that needs to be addressed is my inability to wake up without the help of two
alarms, a dog, and sometimes a phone call or two. The Sleep Monster is a monkey I haven’t been
able to get off my back for YEARS! I
fully comprehend that my poor wake-up habits are caused by my poor sleeping
habits. I grasp the connection and fully
acknowledge that I should probably “suck it up” and visit a sleep
specialist. I think my insurance covers
it, actually. I just don’t see how going
to some “clinic” will actually make me sleep.
I already have drugs that I can take to sleep. They make me sleep too well. I sleep through alarms, meetings, etc. Plus they make me groggy as heck if I don’t
get a full 9 hours between when I take them and when I wake up. Not helpful!
What I need is a designated “wake-up” person who can be my personal human
alarm. I think that would be preferable
to whatever the sleep doctor could suggest!
I wonder if insurance covers this plan . . . any takers?
Alright, so
you can continue reading now that I have that dumped out of my brain. It was taking up valuable real estate and I
don’t have time to keep filtering redundant crap so that I actually accomplish
something. For those who missed the
picture, I now have another beautiful adornment on my skin. This one is a Knights Templar cross on my
left foot. And for those of you who read
the news, that nut job in Norway is not actually a Templar Knight. He is a mentally unstable, homicidal maniac
who happened to read The DaVinci Code.
Side Note: If you are going to commit a crime, do so in those Scandinavian
countries where prisons are like Ikeas (not a joke) and vampires blend in with
the natives (kind of a joke).
Word to your
mothers.
PERSONAL NOTE: I miss you so very much. Where have the past 21 years gone, my
friend?
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: So, K-shrub mentioned that her wireless network
used to be named Charlemagne. She told
me this today, out of the blue. Silly
coincidence!
