current state
of mind: muddled
No matter
what I’m feeling
I won’t hide
it.
You know
that you can tell me
Every
secret.
~ ‘All of
You’ by Colbie Caillat
The Universe
is conspiring against me. My fortune
cookie told me to stop spending money; yet, no information was provided
regarding how I am supposed to pay my bills without spending money. I have considered selling a kidney, as I have
two and really don’t need that second one – but a 5 year stint in prison and a
$50,000 fine would really put a damper on the excitement of being debt free and
one kidney lighter. Interestingly, I can
sell it legally in Iran. But, the going
rate for a kidney in Iran is $6,000.
Screw that! Ahmadinejad isn’t
getting my organ for under 100k. Sorry, but
a girl has standards. Apparently, there
are people willing to pay a hefty $100,000 grand for the little bean shaped
organ. If it was good enough for
Hannibal Lector to eat, it should be good enough for me to sell. Suffice it to say that the government of this
so-called “free” republic has ensured that I won’t be going under the knife
anytime soon, even if it would save a life AND improve my stress level. “But, Mahmoud’s people get to do it . .
. why can’t I?”
“i’m sorry, i
just please need you to shut up for one minute . . .”
Wednesday, I
have an Employment Law exam and a Legal Memorandum
due. I seemed to have forgotten that a
major part of turning in a paper is actually writing it. Bloody Hell.
So, now, after Torts, instead of going home and going to bed, I will be
going home and writing a half-a$$ legal memo which may, or may not, make
sense. Luckily for me, however, someone
who shall remain unnamed (even though he really should be given a name, as he
is a grown-up and deserves to be addressed as something besides “Hey You”)
gifted me with a marvelous book, Woe
is I. If you haven’t read it,
you should. If you have read it, then
you can go back and correct the grammar in all of my prior blog postings. I don’t have the time to do so. Once again, I have overextended my
obligations to the point that I may in fact never be able to claw my way out of
the hole I am in. Insert gratuitous Hunger
Games reference here. Where is Cinna
when I need him?
“May the
odds be ever in your favor.”
Next week is
my bestie’s birthday. She deserves to be
showered with gifts and balloons and flowers and new shoes. Since I cannot spend any money (Blame the
Universe, not me) I am hoping she reads this and knows that I am thinking about
a pair of Louis Vuitton slingbacks that are the bomb! Happy Birthday!
“Life is
what happens while we are making other plans.”
Facebook
bought Instagram! As soon as Apple buys Facebook, the New World Order will be
complete and we can all just succumb to assimilation. Don’t worry; it only hurts the first time! After that, it’s child’s play – ask any
parent with an iPad!
PERSONAL NOTE: Winking at a coworker and blaming it on your “jacked
up” contact really does work!
CONFIDENTIAL
NOTE: Love and Acceptance are the same
thing. Through one, we get the
other.
