current state
of mind: thoughtful
Is it all in
my head?
Is it all in
my head?
Could
everything be so right
Without me
knowing?
~ ‘All in my
Head’ by Shawn Mullins
I hate to sleep alone. When I was younger, I
despised sharing a room with a sibling; but I loved sleeping with them. There is nothing that compares to cuddling up
with a loved one until you fall asleep.
Being the oldest of 6 kids, I could pretty much always find someone who
wanted to sleep in big sister’s room.
For as far back as I can remember, I have slept with a stuffed animal in
my bed. Between the ages of 8 and 22, I
slept with a stuffed panda named Balthazar.
He is one of those animal pack-packs that can be unzipped and stuffed
with pajamas for a sleepover. My mom
removed the shoulder straps so I wouldn’t strangle myself in the middle of the night.
When I was married to husband #1, he wasn’t overly fond of
having a large panda bear in bed with us.
So, he was replaced with a very small stuffed goose that could be stored
in my pillow case and clutched in the middle of the night during a
nightmare. After my 2nd wedding, I had a build-a-bear named Brian Boru that sat on the nightstand next to the
bed. And the aforementioned goose was
replaced by a gift from husband #2 – a
small stuffed lamb which I named “Lambie” -- that is until one morning when GirlTwin
came running down the stairs with a very important message. She was out of breath and rather worked
up. “The new kitty and Lambie got into a
fight. Kitty won.” Then she brought us to the carnage site; dear,
sweet Lambie was lying there sans her left leg.
The missing leg was approximately a foot away, under the paw of a very
possessive Princess Grace. GirlTwin was
very stern and began a lecture in the direction of the feline assassin. “Bad kitty!
Lambie isn’t yours. She belongs
to Juwian (phonetic spelling based on her pronunciation).” We recovered the leg and sewed it back on;
but Lambie was relegated to a high shelf so that further damage could not be
done.
Now a small Cheshire Cat resides on my bed. He spends his days sleeping in Elizabeth’s
doggie bed, which has a permanent home on my bed. Balthazar, Brian Boru, the goose, and Lambie
are in a Rubbermaid tote box with their other stuffed friends – Kyle, Queen
Eleanor, Christopher Marlowe, Plucky, and many others. While a majority of my stuffed friends have
been gifted to loving children, I have found that there are some with whom I am
not ready to part. So, when I wake up in
the middle of the night and reach for a companion to chase away my fear of the
dark, I can be confident that I have a contingency army in place until I have a
life partner who wants the job.
PERSONAL NOTE: Please
accept my condolences on the loss of your PawPaw.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:
Liberating, indeed. Thank you.
