current state of mind: “mean reds”
Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean
reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting
fat, and maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The
mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're
afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
~ “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Truman Capote
When Girl
Twin was six years old, she pulled me aside and said, “I believe when you die
that you really just turn into someone new and start all over again.” I remember being astounded at this insightful
philosophy from a six year old girl who was raised with very little
religion. I smiled at her and said, “Then
you believe in reincarnation. People who
believe in reincarnation believe that when a person dies, they are born again
as someone or something else.” After
scrunching her face up, deep in thought for a moment, she looked up at me and
nodded in understanding. “Okay, then I
believe in reincarnation.” Then she
stood up and ran off to play with her brother.
She never mentioned the topic again.
Eight years later, I wonder if she still believes in reincarnation. I could ask her; but a part of me wants to
hold on to that conversation and a child’s innocent assessment of the meaning
in our lives.
Recently a
friend brought up the fact that she had a dream that in a former life I was a
queen who suffered the not-so-fun ending via decapitation. That does limit whom I may have been in a
past life:
- Anne Boleyn (supposed withcraft, incest, and adultery)
- Katheryn Howard (adultery)
- Mary Queen of Scots (treason, possible murder plot)
- Lady Jane Grey (treason)
- Marie Antoinette (being wealthy)
Now if we
look at recorded noble women who were beheaded, the list gets longer:
- Margaret, Countess of Salisbury (treason)
- Jane, Viscountess Rochford (treason)
- Beatrice Cenci (murder)
- Lady Alice Lisle (treason)
- Marie-Madeleine-Marguérite d’Aubray, marquise de Brinvilliers (poisoning and murder plot)
- St. Catherine (I don’t think saints come back)
- Charlotte Corday (murder and treason)
I would be
content having once been one of those women, if for no other reason than they
had pretty comfortable lives and wore some beautiful clothing. Overall, however, I am hopeful that I do not
get to re-live the end through past-life transgression therapy or
hypnosis. My desire to attend
renaissance faires and eat huge turkey legs does give some indication that I
was once nobility; but I don’t suffer any unreasonable fear of sharp blades or
guillotines. So, perhaps my friend’s
dream was less prophetic and more creepy.
LOL I suppose time will tell –
wait, time already did tell. Oh, the
paradox . . .
PERSONAL NOTE: Looking forward to Saturday.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Not sure how much longer . . . if only . . .
