Just Cause

Current state of mind: sleepy 

I got used to living without you

Endless phone calls and dreaming about you

I always said you were my man to be

But I guess I was in love with your memory

~ “Another Life” by The Veronicas

The title has two meanings, really.  I suppose it’s a double entendre, because I could be saying “just because” as a reason for something, or I could be saying “just cause”, as in a cause which is just.  Since, however, many of my titles don’t have anything to do with what I am writing, I suppose it could just be a place filler because I couldn’t think of anything creative and ‘Ash’ has not been very forthcoming with the inspirational title prompts. 

Work is busy. Life is busy. People are just plain busy.   And the name of Michelle Williams’ best friend is Busy.  She was Michelle’s “date” for the Golden Globes (which I did not watch) and the Academy Awards (which I did watch).  Whenever I see Michelle Williams I get sad (not because Dawson’s Creek got cancelled) but because her daughter, Matilda Ledger, is growing up without a daddy.  Sad stuff!

To combat the melancholy turn this just took, I want to let you all know that James Van Der Beek has been given a role in a new series which starts in March.  Not really sure what it is about; but I did see it advertised during the Oscars.  It is about time.  I mean, he front-lined that damn show, and somehow, Josh Jackson has a hit TV series (Fringe), Michelle Williams has 3 Oscar nominations, and Katie Holmes has Tom Cruise.  I mean, seriously, all James Van Der Beek has is ‘Varsity Blues’ (yeah, I saw it, so what?) and the attention of Daniel Tosh (which has me rather envious, actually).  I mean, the guy is still good looking and there is no reason he has to play creepers on crime shows when he can star in his own fun sitcom!  Hope the show doesn’t get cancelled right away. 

As for 2012 turning out to being a better year than 2011 – well, besides the intermittent unseasonably warm winter days, this year is rather sucky too!  Here’s to living the dream underground, courtesy of VIVOS, in 2013, baby!

PERSONAL NOTE: My love and prayers go out to those whose hearts are hurting due to loss.  

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  You’re kind of being a prick.  Seriously.

Viva la Vida Vivos – part dos

current mood: wary

Oh but that one night was more than just right

I didn’t leave you because I was all through

Oh, I was overwhelmed, and frankly scared as hell

Because I really fell for you

~ “Drive By” by Train

I know y’all have been waiting with baited breath to find out whether Vivos accepted by application.  I received a response this weekend.  Here are some excerpts: 

Thank you for submitting your recent Vivos Membership Application.  Your application has been assigned to Team 3 of the Vivos Selection Committee.  To take your application to the next step we would like to set up a time speak with you as soon as possible by phone to answer all of your questions and determine if you are an appropriate candidate for a co-ownership space in a Vivos shelter.  When you have a moment, please schedule a phone conference with Team 3 . . . During the approximate 45 minute phone conference, the Selection Committee will determine your interest, skills, abilities, potential financing options and which Vivos shelter will best serve you.  Hopefully, they will then approve your pending membership, and recommend you as a candidate for co-ownership of a Vivos shelter . . . Vivos is literally in a race against time to complete as many shelters as possible, before panic sets in, or worse yet, supplies are no longer available.  Vivos shelter space is extremely limited.  At complete build out of the Vivos network we will only be able to accommodate about 1 in 1,000,000 people on Earth . . . Thank you again for your interest in Vivos, and best of luck in whatever the future brings.

I am planning on scheduling my 45 minute long interview soon.  I really am not sure which skills and abilities I should highlight during the interview.  I mean I have so many.  I am pretty sure I need to bake them some cupcakes, just to show how important it is to still be festive while surviving the end of civilization.  But, what if Team 3 is the really tough team who only wants hard core survivalists?  How am I supposed to compete with people who actually have survival skills?  I just want a quiet little pod four stories underground where I can hide out until the chaos passes on the surface.  Team 1 would have totally understood that – grrrrr, the stress is maddening. 

In other news . . .  there is no other news.  You stay classy, San Diego.

PERSONAL NOTE: jazz hands

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I wish things were different. Truly.

It is the most viable option

current state of mind: survivalist

Save yourself, serve yourself

World serves its own needs

Listen to your heartbeat, dummy

With the rapture and the revered and the right, right

You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched

~ It’s the End of the World as We Know It” by REM

Today I applied for membership into a very select group of people who will be the future of mankind.  During the application process, which is quite rigorous mind you, the organization warned me not to mislead them or “pad” my resume, per se.  Not wanting to do anything which would jeopardize my acceptance, I threw the humble pie out the window and decided to dazzle them with my “amazingness”.  Here was my initial cover letter: 

I enjoy the challenges that accompany changing life responsibilities and have always been able to quickly identify and overcome learning curves.  I am a stickler for details and don't eat very much.  I will bring a variety of skill sets and talents which will make shelter life better for everyone.  I have a history degree and can recite historical facts from memory, meaning we will be able to maintain the integrity of our past through the teaching of this information to future generations.  I also have a minor in English Literature and am working on my Paralegal degree which should be completed before December 2012.

My intellect and genius IQ will provide a genetic advantage to the geneticists and reproductive experts who are also housed in the shelter.  I take the survival of the human race very seriously and will do anything necessary to contribute to the success of the Nebraska Vivos shelter.

My Myers-Briggs classification is:  INTJ
My StrengthsFinder© Signature Themes are: 1) Intellection; 2) Input; 3) Strategic; 4) Responsibility; 5) Learner

Please consider me for membership into Vivos. 

Of course, the cover letter is not enough information for the selection committee.  There is also a detailed questionnaire, where I was able to talk about my adept hunting skills, my experience with medicinal herbs, and my wonderful people skills which would make living in an underground facility with 900 other people a joy for everyone who crosses my path.  For those of you who believe that you also need a safe place to live out the next planetary catastrophe, perhaps VIVOS is for you.  The Nebraska shelter is not yet online, made quite apparent by the online video – but the one in Indiana is almost move-in ready.   And only those approved for free membership will have the privilege of purchasing a “boarding pass” for one of the shelters.  

I am choosing the Nebraska one because it is the largest, with 900 humans (and their pets) living in a communal environment.  What could possibly go wrong?  Also, I heard from a “friend” that if you cannot afford the co-ownership, you may be able to become an indentured employee for one of the wealthier families purchasing ownership shares. 

Please note, however, that the shares are not for investment purposes.  You cannot buy a spot, then sell it when the fit hits the shan.  That is a big no-no.  I personally told them I want a family unit of 4 adults and one child.  I know who I am bringing with me . . . bet you wish that you knew too.

PUBLIC NOTE:  http://www.terravivos.com/secure/facts.htm -- and a big thank you to “FlashFan” for sharing this life changing information with me.  I put your name as the referral in my application. 

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  Yes, you are definitely on the list.  I need your survival and defensive skills.

I don’t have all the answers

current state of mind: over-stimulated

And I’ve been a fool; and I’ve been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can no way, I can see no way

I’m always dragging that horse around

~ “Shake It Out” by Florence + the Machine

My high school homeroom was held in the typing/word processing classroom.  My homeroom teacher was the ‘Typing Teacher’ and she would often stress the importance of good typing skills.  I disagreed.  Looking back, I think I may have been a little close-minded.  I can type fast.  I don’t know how fast; but pretty damn fast.  The issue is not speed . . .  it is accuracy.  I type in my own special typo language.  When it is commented upon I state that if it because my left hand is faster than my right when I write because I am right-brained, therefore affecting my fine motor skills. 

The reality is that I am a really bad typist.   I don’t always have to look at the key board and I am definitely not a hunt and peck keyboard user.  Still, anyone who has actually had an IM conversation with me knows that I am pretty consistent with my mistakes.  For starters, I always type “teh” instead of “the”.   Sometimes I type curse words within non-curse words because I flip letters around.  Not cool when typing the word “account” I assure you.  Anyway, someone mentioned the other day that it would be amusing to “hear” my messages read by the computer because of how many words I mistype.  It’d be reverse voice texting and it’d be awesome!  I could likely have my own show on Comedy Network, right after tosh.0. 

Not really.  That was a severe exaggeration.  Exaggerations are the bane of my existence, so I should probably not indulge in them.  Moving on. . .

The Manning Family has another Super Bowl ring to store in the family coffers.  A shout out to Peyton’s little brother for putting on a good show on Sunday Night!  Speaking of the New York Giants . . . (Please Note that the following story has absolutely nothing to do with the New York Giants.  None whatsoever.)  Friday night I got home after attending a hockey game with “Dadof3” and went to bed before midnight.  Apparently I was pretty tired because when my phone rang at 1:04am, I had no idea what was going on or where I was.  I answered the phone, but could not for the life of me understand why someone was calling me so late on a work night (In my sleepy state, I thought it was Thursday, not Friday).  Here is a condensed version of what went down over the next 30 minutes.  

Caller A: What are you doing?  Why aren’t you out with us?
Me: What?  I was asleep.
Caller A: We were doing shots and realized we missed you.
Me: Awww, thanks. What are you doing?
Caller A:  I just told you.  We were doing shots.  You should be out with us.
Me: Um, I am in Nebraska.
Caller A:  Yeah, we know.  When are you coming down to go out?  Hey, wait, someone wants to talk to you.
*pause*
Caller B:  Hey, what are you doing?
Me:  I was sleeping.  What are y’all doing?
Caller B:  We just did shots.  I love that shirt you gave me.  Whenever I wear it we all wish you were here.
Me:  Thanks.
Caller B:  You’re mad we called and woke you up aren’t’ you?
Me:  No, not mad, just confused.
Female voice in background:  What are you two doing?  You did not actually call her did you?
Callers A and B: No, wait, don’t take the phone.
Female Voice (Caller B’s Wife): Are you there?
*Call Gets Dropped*
 Text message arrives from Caller B’s Wife:  I am so sorry. I didn’t know they would actually call.
Me:  No worries.  I just didn’t know what was going on.  I was kind of out of it.
Text message from Caller B’s Wife: They said they were going to call you but by the time I realized they had dialed it was too late.
 *Phone Rings*
Caller B:  Are you mad at us?
Me: No, not at all.  I just was asleep and didn’t have any idea what was going on.
Caller B: Guess my bar tab.  If you guess within a reasonable amount, I’ll fly you down here.
Me: How many people are drinking?
Caller B; I don’t know. . . . Oh wait, caller A wants to talk to you.
Caller A: Hi.  Where are you?
Me:  I am at home in bed.  Where are you?
Caller A: Caller B’s wife is making us leave.  Wait . . . wait
Caller B’s Wife:  I cannot leave them alone for a minute.  Sorry again.
Me:  No worries.  Talk soon.  Miss and love you.
Caller B’s Wife:  Miss and love you too.
 *Phone Rings*
Caller A: Hey.
Caller B’s Wife:  Stop calling her.
Me:  Good night. 

I miss Texas a lot sometimes.  It is the people I miss, more than the weather or the landscape or the armadillos.  I miss my friends.  So, I am grateful that on a random Friday night, I was drunk dialed by people who love and miss me too.

PERSONAL NOTE:  Keep me posted on what’s going on and when you are coming back.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  Stop hoarding and start enjoying.  You’ll find what’s missing.  I promise. 

All the Moments That We Never Got to Live

current state of mind: weary

Imagine all the times that you could take back

What would you have done differently?

Thoughts in your head that you never said

A heart that you broke and left for dead

~ “Just One Day” by Better than Ezra

Another Girl Genius I know is having a really lousy February 1^st. She had the first hearing for her divorce and her house got broken into. I am not blaming anyone specifically; but it is curious that the only day her soon-to-be-Ex is in town, her house is inconveniently burglarized (two days after the locks were changed to keep the soon-to-be-Ex out). 

Her experience really makes me realize that I am pretty damn lucky.  I am friends with almost all of my exes, including both husbands.  Granted, some are just out of my life because time and distance – but I cannot think of any who harbor ill-will toward me. I know that I wouldn’t mind kicking a few in the shins – but that is the extent of my “dismay”.  The truth is that I just don’t hold onto that negativity. It isn’t worth it. I try to focus on the good times and cherish them for what they were – moments in time where I was able to bask in the sunshine of happiness. 

My friend, “Halle+” stopped by my desk today and as always, I was reminded how precious those sunshine moments are.  She always has a smile and a hug for anyone who wants or needs one.  I know very few people who are so genuine and loving without any expectation.  It is a blessing for which I am grateful.  I have a lot on my mind today and am not able to focus on putting things into coherent words – but if you leave this post with anything, leave it with this:

Be the sunshine in someone’s life today. You don’t know how important of a moment you may create by just being you.

PERSONAL NOTE: I am looking forward to our get-away next week!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  I miss you today and every day.