There is no other place I want to be
Right here, right now
Watching the world wake up from history
I saw the decade in, when it seemed
The world could change at the blink of an eye
~ “Right Here, Right Now” by Jesus Jones
I receive a lot of forwarded e-mails on a daily basis. I used to be able to ignore them – but lately some people within the workplace have decided to send them as well. I read everything that gets sent via my work e-mail – as I know the one day that I just ASSUME that something is junk, it will turn out to be a test of some sort. Luckily for me, I have one friend, ‘Blue’s Mom’ who only forwards stuff that truly is funny. Sometimes she sends things I have seen before – but they are always real chuckle-fests so I look forward to receiving them. In fact, some of the stuff she has forwarded ends up being ‘inside jokes’ which make really stressful days more bearable. For instance, look at this picture:
How can someone not laugh at this? The look on that dog’s face is priceless. I don’t care whether or not it was altered with Photoshop. All I care about is the fact that every time I look at it, I laugh. It NEVER gets old.
So, today, I received a list of random thoughts. I will not print them all here – but I will highlight a few that I love, along with my personal commentary on the thought. I left the original numbers on each one – so if you would like to receive the whole list, just let me know.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
This is absolutely true. In fact, I have a couple friends who have very similar responsibilities when I die. Anything ‘embarrassing’ needs to be removed from prying eyes. I certainly don’t want my family debating on who gets to dispose of my ‘toy collection’. LOL Granted, it isn’t much of a ‘collection’ but I’d rather my family not have to wonder why I have Velcro wrist restraints while they are sorting through stuff for the estate sale. Ha ha ha
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
This is a truism which has haunted me since sophomore year in high school. For our composition class, we had to write an essay detailing when we made a difficult decision. I wrote mine about a time I made the ‘safe and responsible’ decision. It bored everyone. Yet, when I tell the story about the time I made a drug run with two strangers and a roadie from a band, then got to meet the band and the hottest drug dealer who has ever lived, people are amused. It’s a good story – but very poor decision-making.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
NO comment. This has never happened to me.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Does anyone else do this? I know for a fact that there are people who have MY NUMBER in their phone for precisely this purpose. I not only have them in my phone for this purpose; but I have my ring tone set to silent for them as well. That way, I never accidentally answer without looking. It is quite effective.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
Ridiculous questions from children are the most difficult to answer. I remember when the twins asked us what a stripper was. I thought their dad was going to choke. I smiled and asked where they heard the term, as they were 6 at the time. They said they had heard a song with it. We clearly explained that a stripper was someone who stripped paint off walls and cabinets before they could be repainted. This made complete sense to them and I thought the subject was closed. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when they pulled me aside to quietly explain that a stripper was someone who took her clothes off and danced. They thought it was important that I know the truth in case someone else asked me. Good Gourd!
PERSONAL NOTE: Buck up little camper. Your box office funnies will bring sunshine to the other woes!
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Next time you drunk dial me – identify yourself. Had I known who you were, I would have chatted longer.
