Figure It Out

Current mood: insubordinate

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
~ "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay

This morning, Ebie was a naked dog – as her harness is in the laundry and she was given a much-needed bath last night. That dog loves to roll around in stuff that stinks. It's disgusting, actually! There is nothing adorable about smelling like a dead squirrel or wild animal pee.

After her bath, I let her run around the house without her harness and it always makes me laugh at how weird she looks without the red harness to offset her shiny black coat. It makes her look "naked". And when her harness isn't on, she runs around the house all crazy-like, reminding me of a toddler who gets out of the bath and runs around the house without any clothes on. There is something freeing about not having those restrictions, I guess.

This leads me to that ATT Wireless commercial where the family is in Spain and ends up on the nude beach – "because they don't have ATT". I wonder if I would have a better body self-image if I were to go to a nudist retreat center. I do not have modesty issues, as it is, and being 'naked' is far from offensive to me – I just don't think that I am "all that" while not wearing clothes. I am soft in places I wish were more tone and there are always the "extra" inches that seem to mock me in the mirror after I get out of the bath.

I know that I could begin working out and dedicate my life to a healthier routine – but that is not happening. I don't have the time or the drive to workout 2 hours a day. Hell, I barely sleep 2 hours a day – when would I make the time to exercise? Yes, in this case I would rather bitch about it than actually do anything to CHANGE the way I look. Still – if I could become more comfortable in my imperfect body, perhaps I would then have the drive to improve. I know that seems backwards – but it really makes total sense in my head.

Therefore, I am going to begin looking for private/clothing optional retreats. That being said, I can already hear the comments and smarty-pants responses which will inevitably be said by those who read this. I can handle your mockery! NO FEAR!

PERSONAL NOTE: Pseudo-date 3 has me wondering what is going on. Any insight would be appreciated!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: What happens now? Where do we go from here?